I grew up loving the rain. The storms. Thunder clouds. The strong winds and the chilly temperatures. It is my Disneyland. I wonder what it represented? I like chaos, or it is more of a cozy feeling.

But lately, the clouds have been scaring me. Scarring me. At first sight, they show hope of excitement for rain. But it doesn’t. It’s just dull. Grey. Passive. Endless. Nor do they pour down or let the sunlight out. Some are so bad that I see a gun. To the head. It goes off, and I don’t see anything, just silence. Maybe my brain sees it as a solution or probably a mere escape. Escape from the fear, the loneliness and the nothingness.

That is the thing about these clouds. They mean nothing. They shut off the light to end your hope, and they don’t let it rain to feel anything. They are endless to human sight. How do I find my rain clouds? How do I not mistake them with these demons?